As things have progressed this week, we have learned that things aren't always as they seem. People aren't always REALLY the way they portray themselves. And I guess, in all fairness, we all do that. We all try to put our best foot forward, so to speak. But some things are too horrendous to ignore. Some things open your eyes to the fact that Satan is rampant today and everyday. Some things remind you what kind of world we live in. And some things remind me of what a very wise teacher/counselor (Dixon Murrah) has told Chuck and I a million and one times...HURT PEOPLE HURT.
Thankfully, baby girl is healthy and we will continue to pray for her....but it's looking more and more like she will not be ours. We've had our cries and I've told God that I DO NOT understand why he drags us thru the mud, all in the same breath that I've told Him how thankful I am that He won't give me more than I can handle, that I am thankful He loves me in spite of my frustration towards Him, and that I KNOW there are people going thru WAY worse. He's a big god and He can handle it. I'm thankful to be a Christian. What else would there be to cling to if not?
Things could change. This is adoption...the real life version. And no matter what, I know HE is in control. I'm trusting that today.
FRIDAY UPDATE:
Birth mom decided to take baby girl home. Agency is still financially supporting her with money, diapers, food, etc...so she should be able to parent(with assistance). CPS will probably also now be getting involved due to some serious "issues" found out the day before delivery. So sad for baby girl and one of her siblings that live with them. Pray for all involved.
Adoption can be a nightmare....kinda like infertility. Ugh. We're waiting and trusting God that soon, we'll wake up to our Dream Come True. As always, thanks for praying. Much love to any and all of you who have been following our story and riding this roller coaster with us. I wish there were a happy ending this time...but I know He has a plan, as He does for all of our lives, in the good times and the bad. Sometimes, it just seems to take forever, huh?!?!?
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11 comments:
While this is not the news I was hoping to find this morning, I am in awe of your willingness to be so open and share. I cannot fathom the pain and frustration but you are so right, God is big and He can take it. Your perfect little angel is out there and God has gone before you and worked out every single detail. Still praying my friend.
Oh Misty! My heart truly is breaking for you guys. I know this is so heartbreaking and extremely hard to understand. God has chosen you to be adoptive parents, and He has hand-picked the child for you. And hopefully soon He will reveal it all to you. I pray for His perfect peace and comfort to flood your hearts, and I pray that you will come to understand what all this heartbreak means some day. You have continued to trust in Him and seek Him even in the valleys, and I have to say that I have been so blessed as I've read your story, and I have hope that He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams! Keep hoping my frIend, and remain obedient! Cry, yell, and pour out your hearts to Him! He's a great big God and He can handle it! I can say with complete openness and honesty that I did not do that when we were going through our fertility journey, and that is one of my biggest regrets. I wish I had clung to Him so tight that I had white knuckles. You are amazingly strong, and you have so many people praying for you!! Your baby is out there! Don't lose hope!!! Love and hugs...
I'm sorry you had to go through this. It just really stinks. Praying for strength for you guys.
Oh Misty, my heart aches & breaks right along with you, I can't believe how I excited I felt for you guys, and how real the sadness can be...As I said before, I will keep praying God's will & timing, He know which baby out there belongs with you&Chuck! Hugs& continual prayers my friend!! Xoxo -Dawn R.
I'm so sorry you had to endure this heartbreak. big hugs.
So sorry this was not God's plan for the Willy's. The Hunt family is sharing in your disappointment. Even big hearted Mara showed her anger & sadness over this. She yelled " OMGosh I've prayed so hard every night for the Willy baby mom"..."Why???? I don't understand". We are all feeling this journey with you and still praying hard and looking forward with much hope.
So sorry to hear of your up and down journey right now. There truly is nothing like knowing God when hard circumstances come. My prayers are with you and your family.
Misty and Chuck,
Our hearts break for this news. There is certainly no "understanding" such a disappointment when you can't see how it could possibly be good for anyone. You are truly walking by faith and feeling your way for the open door and the incredible greatness that God has waiting for you. We are praying you will see it very soon, and that in the here and now you can experience His peace in an amazing way. Our hearts hurt with you and your whole family. We love you! Dennis and Michi (and all the Gaffords)
Bless your heart.....no amount of words can begin to comfort you right now. However, remember that God knows more than anyone how you feel, and HE does have a plan. "Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out." Ephesians 6:13-18
Here is also another hurting mom's blog that shares her pain yet her willingness to know that God knows best. hope it helps some:
http://maggiekarina.blogspot.com/2011/09/maggies-day.html?m=1
Praying for you and your family and baby girl's health and safety as well.
Love you all so much. Hope these words bless your heart:
This is no time for fear
This is a time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here
Carried away by emotion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together
God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control, oh God is in control
He has never let you down
Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me
Watching over you, watching over me
Watching over every things
Watching over you, watching over me
Every little sparrow, every little things
Know that our God is in control. One day you will celebrate his timing and his love. Prayers with you.
I have no words for you, just know that your pain is real, and you are prayed for.
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