Getting a "glimpse"...Our Adoption Journey-Meeting "our" birthmom.

Yes, little by little, I'm learning to trust that there really is a plan.  I guess I should rephrase that....I've always trusted that God has a plan for us, but when you can't see it...it's ultra hard.  So, I guess when God gives you a glimpse of His plan, it kinda makes it a little easier.  NOT completely easy, but definitely easier.

On Wednesday evening, we met with the birth mom who chose us.  I was more nervous than anything that I can remember(Chuck was just ready to do this!).  But as soon as we sat down in the same room with her, I began to see the bigger picture.  Whether or not she places with us after she delivers(because she will have 48 hours after birth to change her mind), I saw some of why God has allowed us to struggle thru infertility.  It opened my eyes to struggles even BIGGER than ours.  Hurts that are BIGGER and DEEPER and more profound than ours.  It didn't lessen the hurt that I feel, but it made me understand a little more.

The birth mom that sat before us was an incredible human being.  A loved child of God.  A precious, beautiful person....hurt by people of this world.  But in spite of that hurt, she had love in her eyes, a "sparkly" contagious laugh, a determination to GO ON and not give up, a hope for the future, and a beauty that came from the inside and was also very evident on the outside.  She's been hurt.  A hurt that is unimaginable and unfathomable to me.  But her outlook on life was plain and simple.... "What doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger".
 
Immediately, we all connected.  We saw and felt the connection.  We want a baby of our own to love and raise.  She needs a home for her baby.  We understood her pain, she understood ours.  Though completely different, our pain connected us.   God connected us.  He allowed our struggles and He allowed hers.  Oh how that hurts to know that He allows us, his children that He loves, to hurt, to struggle.  But in the end, He is working out a plan and a purpose.  And His ways are good.  His ways are good.  I'm letting that sink in.  Can you tell?

I will never hear the word BIRTH MOM and think the same thing again. I know not all of them are exactly the same, but for the most part, when I hear BIRTH MOM....I will forever equate it with the words SELFLESS and COURAGEOUS....especially after sitting down with this special girl.