Alright...since it's only people that care about and/or love us, who read my blog... and since when most of you ask me anything about our fertility issues, I usually just cry knowing that you care, making everyone in the process feel bad....here's the latest:
No, the 3 months of Clomid did not work.
No, what we were SO hoping would happen did not.
Yes, we do now have an appointment at a fertility specialist in Houston...the earliest appointment they could give me was in mid-October.
Yes, it is discouraging(I try not to think about the fact that when my parents were my age(34), I was 14).
Yes, if we ever do get pregnant I will be considered high-risk due to my now-age.
Yes, I know God's in control.
Yes, 3 years of trying seems like forever, until I remember that some have been trying way longer than I.
No, we can't start the adoption process until next October, our 5 year anniversary date(when there's a past divorce involved, most adoption agencies require you to have 5 years "under your belt" before you can apply...understandably so).
Yes, everyone around me, family and friends has had or are having babies and I am happy for them.
Yes, I fight the urge to be bitter.
No, I do not understand God sometimes, but I still have to trust Him.
No, I'm not alone. I have a wonderful husband who hurts too, for himself and for me.
Yes, I do know that God has a plan, and that HE IS GOOD.
Some days the lump in my throat over our fertility issues stays there the entire day long and I fight the tears constantly, and some days I just tell myself to think HAPPY thoughts and ask HIM to help me/us. HE does, 'cause HE is GOOD.
What would our lives be without the HOPE that we know we have in HIM? At least you can't take HOPE away. I know we all have something that we hope for...hope for someone we love to succeed, hope for the memory of our loved ones to be carried on, hope for a baby, hope for a home, hope for your kids, hope for finances, hope for a job, hope for health, hope for HEAVEN. Let's just keep hopin' (and praying)together. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in my HOPE for something.
Will you just continue to pray GOD'S WILL in our struggle? Thanks for caring.
XOXOXOXO-misty:)
14 comments:
I know alot about HOPE....I hoped for a better life and now I have you! I believe in HOPE and it cannot be taken AWAY! I love you very much and I know OUR day will COME! CHUCK.....your hopeful husband!
Sweet Misty, oh how I have felt the pain that you're feeling!! I understand the pain that comes from empty arms, the struggles within when you hear of someone else's pregnancy or birth, and the fatigue from enduring cycle after cycle with no success. And I'm sorry that you're going through it!! I SO admire your strength and the fact that you are fighting the bitterness! I lost that battle so many times throughout our infertility struggles, but to hear you are still clinging to hope just shows how strong your faith truly is. Keep clinging to hope no matter how deep your pain runs!! If there's one thing that I regret it's that I let the bitterness seep into my life stripping me of the joy that I once had. I am praying that the Lord will answer your heartfelt prayers for a child!!!
I can NOT even pretend to understand why God allows & disallows the things in this world. But, we are with you in trusting in HIM. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all you heart & lean not on your own understanding." Soo, we'll just LEAN more on HIM & on each other until that day comes. . . when faith becomes sight. Your life provides so much JOY, LOVE & HOPE for many, Esp. your Dad & Me
Oh Misty - I feel your pain. We struggled with infertility ourselves for 2 years. It was a combination of reasons why - PCOS, male factor, varicocele, no ovulation, etc. We started seeing a specialist Dr.Michael.Heard ( I HIGHLY recommend him!)in January '08 and we were pregnant by August. We went through 4 IUI's - with clomid and injectibles. We were at our last attempt before having to move on to IVF and God worked his magic. Thanks to millions of prayers from all our friends and family, we now have that bouncing baby boy we always wanted. I know how you feel and it hurts me to think of you hurting. Just know that God will answer your prayers. NEVER give up HOPE!
Kim Culpepper Artall
Of all people in this world YOU deserve a baby. I see the way you are with Blayke, Reese and all the other little ones in your life...you are meant to have a baby. HOPE- that's what I live on. When hope gives out...you give out. I've realized life is about learning to deal with disappointment. Yet, I know with disappointment life is also good. I have told Jason since the day I met him, "good things come to those who live good lives". You are an inspiration to me Misty...your marriage, your energy, your unconditional love. Don't give up Misty...together we will have peace in our lives. Love you!
I'm praying for you!!!!! I know that feeling of wanting a child. I know God has great plans for you and Chuck! Love you girl!
I doubt you even know I’m here, reading, but I am.
I just had to comment and say I know your pain. I am unable to have a child myself (You can ask Jess for the details but I’d rather not say online). I ache. Not all the time anymore, but I do. I feel loss and I feel jealousy. I’ve stopped going to baby showers for anyone that is not family or a very very close friend. It’s so hard, I know. But there is hope for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
Misty Dawn...I'm so sorry for the pain you and Chuck are going through. I know that you also are aware that when one of us hurts...we all hurt. This family has endured alot and even though we HATE going through the hard times, God obviously has a reason for allowing them. Remember how loved you are and I hope you know that you are used EVERY single day to touch the lives of the children you come in contact with! I don't know a stronger advocate for kids. I always think of Bruce when I hear the saying.."Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad!" The same goes for you (using Mom instead, of course!) However, I know the desires of your heart and we'll just keep prayin!
I love you .....and Bruce said to tell you he does too!!!!
Misty,
I am praying with you daily... don't get discouraged. I am sure God has great things instore... more than we could imagine.
I know I can't even begin to fully understand all you feel and are going through, since I"m only in the very beginning stage of the "trying"... but know that Edwin and I care deeply about ya'll, and will continue to lift you up in prayers! You have lots of loving people around you!
Wow - let me run and grab the toilet paper right quick (I don't do tissues - why spend the money when you have perfectly good toilet paper all the time!) I think we all must have that 'thing', ya know? That 'thing' that truly hurts our hearts and cuts us to the quick - and tries to give Satan a foothold in our lives. You and Chuck are such an inspiration of what it is to be Christ like. Thank you for sharing your hurt and disappointment - and hope. It truly touched my heart! I will SO be praying God's will for you and Chuck (ok - so I will be praying that he gets ya'll pregnant already - hey nobody's perfect!)
Praying for you Misty (and Chuck)...we truly know how devastating infertility can be, and yet, how God can bring HOPE even when it doesn't seem possible. In the waiting game that you are in, know that we are praying for peace, comfort, and hope on those days when it hurts so much that hope seems impossible.
Hi Misty -
I'm sorry to hear about your fertility issues. You prolly wouldn't believe me because I am a jokester, but I actually have some fertility monitors you could borrow if you want to. I just closed my fertility shop business. lol! I have the "queen of queens" one called a Baby-Comp and an abundance of OvaCue. Look them up and let me know. I am about to put them on Ebay!
I understand and will be praying for you. We lost one after Grant and I thank God so much for giving me the sense of urgancy that lead us to seek out fertility. I am so glad that God blessed us with Aubrey. I am sure that David is watching from Heaven and is so proud of the legacy he left on Earth.
Post a Comment